Yearly Archives: 2011

You look into that monkey’s eyes and you tell me it isn’t 12 steps ahead. And before you go getting on your high horse and telling me it’s an ape and not a monkey let me just cut you off. I just read about a memory drug that is in clinical trials and set to proceed to phase 2 or plan B or whatever. This may be the last chance I get to insult these little bastards, so give this to me please. I mean where is James Franco when you need him? 1) Memory drug for Alzheimer’s,  2) Animal tests, 3) … Keep Reading —>

  A lot of people ask me what I do for Thanksgiving. I usually curse at them and say “thanks for bringing that up ass-face” b/c my Thanksgiving typically involves me alone with a 5th of Jim Beam and my tears. Few Thanksgivings ago though I thought I would try hanging out with Boba Fett and the gang. As expected, I blacked out around 7pm and the last thing I remember was stealing Fett’s helmet and running around doing assassin stuff.  By assassin stuff I of course mean spying on people in the bathroom. Well apparently I peed on the … Keep Reading —>