Who Has the Best Pouty Face

Eli ManningPeyton Manning

Jay Cutler

Darth Vader
Tough call here. This picture of me was taken right after Luke blew up the first Death Star. Needless to say I was crushed..CRUSHED. I poured my heart and soul into that planet shaped death machine. Off the record, I still think that was pretty selfish of Luke. I mean yes I was going to use the Death Star to destroy entire planets of living beings, but does anyone stop and think about the effort I put into building that thing? No, of course not. If I had destroyed the Death Star I guarantee people would have started crying about all the storm troopers I killed. Just Luke’s world and we’re all just living in it I guess.

Anyway, back to the pictures. Personally I hate the Mannings more than anything in the world. Archy Manning can cut this humble pie BS b/c you know after every interview he does he goes back home and fist pumps in front of the mirror about how awesome his sperm is to have created two NFL QBs. I just wish the Mannings were in a few more commercials b/c I definitely don’t see them on TV enough and if you can’t tell I’M BEING SARCASTIC! But, let’s be honest with ourselves for one minute. When you look at Jay Cutler is there any other thought that enters your head besides “Pouty Face Champion of the World”? Look at that mug…just the ultimate in pouty face technology. Congratulations Jay Cutler you win the Darth Pouty Face Award. A highly coveted designation for sure. Keep throwing picks Jay, b/c the world can’t live without your misery.

DD

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Darth Batman

Darth Vader

It pains me to say this, but I’m not going to argue with this sage-like advice. It would be foolish to say I’m better off without a utility belt. You think I dominated before wait till you see how many chicks I get when I’m driving around in the bat-mobile force-choking fools. Count it!!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Comic Con Is The New Halloween

Cosplay

I don’t know if anyone has noticed this, but Comic Con isn’t nerds and fake lightsabers anymore. Somehow this event that honors nerdom is an excuse for chicks to wear practically nothing and have it be socially acceptable. Normally I wouldn’t mind this, but when 75% of the girls are dressed up as your daughter it starts to wear on you mentally. I mean I walk around staring at these chicks and all of the sudden I have a flashback to Padme and I immediately need to take a shower. All the guys walk around in funny costumes and the girls dress up as whores. You can blame the movies all you want, but Leia was in skimpy clothing for maybe 10 minutes in that movie and the rest of the time she wore turtle necks and skinny jeans/ white pants. Plus look at the kids in this picture…little Flash Gordon is basically looking up that girls skirt and wondering what the heck is going on up there. He’s going to start calling himself Flesh Gordon and asking the girls at school to show a little more skin. Reel it in Comic Con, I think my daughter has been ogled enough for one life time.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment